Philippines Books

Archive for the ‘Expat Info’ Category

The poorer countries of the world are attractive to many looking for an affordable place to call home. Somewhere that their retirement dollar will stretch to provide them with a decent standard of living, close to what they were used to back home when they were making a regular living. Sadly the burgeoning baby boomer retiree population is finding life in the First World a tad too expensive on what is left of their 401Ks, superannuation, pensions and what not.

So their attention turns to the third world where they can get more bang for their buck. The cost of living has risen in the Philippines just as it has everywhere else in the world. Risen sharply in many ways. I wonder how the average Filipino family manages, but then they have managed for generation after generation, so why should the current fiscal situation be any different?

If you want to live like a white rajah, then expect to pay for it! If you are happy living on a basic diet of dried fish and rice then you can get by on very little indeed. For most of us, though, we need to tread he middle path. You can live on US$500 a month in the provinces but it will be like camping in many respects. Forget airconditioning, driving your own car and going out to dinner all the time. This is you and the Filipina of your choice living in a small, rented house or apartment, shopping mostly at the local market and rarely buying supermarket items. You don’t travel around, you might have cable TV or internet access but not both and you don’t call home very often.

For US$1000 a month you get to enjoy some imported foods, turn on the airconditioning, drive a small, used car and go out a few times every month. For US$1500 you can live pretty much wherever you want to and live well and for US$2000 a month I’d say you can live in Manila and live well. Nice apartment, domestic helper, good food, lots of entertainment, everything you want.

How much do you live on now? How well do you live on that? How would you like to live in the Philippines?

Once you find your Filipina and travel all the way to the Philippines to meet her, you may find you can barely be alone together for five minutes without having half the Barangay hanging on yoru every word! You need an affordable, luxury hideaway hotel that will give you the time you need to get to know her, her family and her culture. But on your own terms!

You need a ‘base’, a place to call your own where you have the back up of trained and friendly staff, a knowledgeable American owner who has been successfully running businesses in the Philippines for over twelve years and you know you are safe. Alta Cebu Garden Resort is owned by friends of mine, Larry and Cherry Quinn. I used to work there as the Director of Studies when it was a ‘Homestay’ English language academy and I have known Larry and Cherry since 2004 and I consider them my friends.

Since those early days they have expanded the resort to its current beautiful state, focused on the hospitality end of the business and developed a first class facility for weddings, conferences and relaxed vacation living. If you are wondering where to get married, how to organize the wedding or arrange the celebrant and the many other details any marriage entails; leave it to Larry and his team.

I was married in northern Cebu in 2002 and let me tell you it was a challenge to arrange the event to a standard I wanted for my bride in the ‘boonies’. What made it even more difficult was the fact my bride to be wasn’t all that worldly wise when it came to western style weddings and how could she be, coming from an honest farming family in the provinces? If any of this is ringing bells, just relax. Buy my eBook ‘Filipina 202 – How To Marry And Migrate Your Dream Filipina’ and then book into the Alta Cebu Garden Resort. Larry will give you your first night FREE when you tell him you bought one of my eBooks, if you book and pay for three nights minimum. All the usual warranties and guaranties apply but we are sure you are going to have a great time.

And if you haven’t met ‘Her’ yet, don’t sweat it! Buy ‘Filipina 101 – How To Meet The Filipina Of Your Dreams’ and follow the advice on just going to the Philippines ‘on spec’. Then talk to Larry and he will help you find someone, just try and leave the staff alone as he has had to replace too many of his pretty receptionists already! Let me know how much you enjoyed your stay.

There are many infections one can catch when living or visiting the Philippines. I remember leaving after one trip of just a week in Manila when as the plane reached altitude and pressurised, virtually everybody in the cabin started to cough! Perhaps it was the cleaner air being filtered and pumped through that kicked us all off but I recall very distinctly quite a few minutes of coughing and nose blowing. I was cleaning dark matter from my nostrils for days and had an annoying nose twitch for a week or two until I made conscious effort to get it under control.

Working in Cebu in an office tower we had foreigners coming and going all the time on various three and six month projects. The first week would have them coughing and suffering from a chest infection that I believe was caused by the air-conditioning system. A good dose of anti-biotics bought over the counter from the nearest Mercury Drugstore and they were quickly back in action but just about every new expat employee copped this. If you spend time going into and out of air-conditioned buildings and cabs you are very susceptible to such illnesses. When we lived in Bogo in a fan only house and rarely enjoyed the cool of an air-conditioned environment I rarely had any problems. As soon as we were able to afford air-conditioning and we enjoyed it, this changed and colds and chest infections became more commonplace.

Another minor affliction that causes major distress is ‘pink eye’, ’sore eye’ or conjunctivitis. It passes quickly from person to person via touching what they have touched and then touching your face. I stayed at a resort on Malapascua where first one of the staff had the tissue to the eye, then the owner, then half the guests! You can get drops for this from the drugstore but it is very annoying and can last several days.

I was also able to experience the skin rash so many of us get when we first start to live in the Philippines for longer than a month or two. It is a collection of red spots on the chest and groin that look like freckles or measles. I have no idea what it was but the Quack Doctor healed it by spitting something on the affected area and the next day I was fine! Don’t write off the local Hilot or Quack Doctor. They have been providing health care for the Filipino for centuries and have it pretty well wrapped up as far as local ailments go. They are terrific for muscular and bone setting situations but if you have something that requires micro-surgery or similar, see a western physician.

You might get an ear infection from the pools or sea. If so, get a local to boil some Hilpas weed and then stick it in your ear as hot as you can handle it. It might seem funny to have green goop sticking out of your ear but it works. As soon as it went in I felt it send finger of healing down the tubes and sinuses from ear to nose and mouth. It was amazing as I could feel it clearing out the passages and easing the pain I had felt in the side of my face. My mother-in-law administered it and said she used to give it to her brothers and father when they copped ear aches from cyanide fishing.

As for other forms of infection such as STDs, these are usually treated with a one shot oral prophylactic nowadays and are available without prescription if you know what you want. I do not advise self prescription as I have done it before for myself and it is a bit of a gamble. It costs about ten bucks to see a well qualified (probably US trained) doctor and get the right treatment first time.

The Philippines are a tropical locale. This means there is the risk of catching things that do not exist back home. You might also forego adequate rest and hydration for party time and lots of alcohol. Take care of yourself and the best cure is prevention, as always.

Cubao, Lots Of Shops, So Shop Lots!

Cubao is a retail rabbit warren straddling EDSA, the main thoroughfare of this city. Between Makati/Ortigas and Quezon City, it offers more than just the home of the Araneta Coliseum, once upon a time the largest dome covered auditorium in South East Asia. There are several Malls and shopping complexes and a large and vibrant market as well as hundreds of small shops lining the streets.

The MRT stops there with both the north-south and the new east-west line having major stations suspended above the main streets EDSA and Aurora Boulevard. The streets always seem full of traffic and the sidewalks bursting with pedestrians going somewhere! The multi lane major roads are spanned by overhead walkways and getting around from one side to the other involves climbing up and down stairways. The MMDA (Metro Manila Development Authority) has its’ blue shirted and hard hatted employees patrolling the overpasses to keep the sidewalk vendors and beggars down as much as possible. 

All the same I saw four of them standing opposite a one armed man who sits and silently waits for alms just about every time I have been there. The MMDA don’t seem in a hurry to move him on, despite wearing t-shirts telling how they make the sidewalks clear for pedestrians to walk along unhindered. They have had virtual riots in the past when moving on side walk vendors and can often be seen carrying rattan Arnis sticks to aid in their work. Perhaps if someone had given a donation they would have swooped on the donor, no doubt there is a law against giving alms similar to that in force in Cebu.

Once on the “mall side” (north bound) of EDSA you come across the fairly new Farmers Mall. Behind this mall lies several others ranging in vintage from rather dated (Ari Mall and SM) to not even open yet but showing great promise (Gateway). In between there is the Shop Right, Rustan’s and the large public market. There is also a Fiesta Carnival with rides and amusements next to the Araneta Coliseum, a jeepney terminal and a large cinema complex.

I liked the Araneta Coliseum as around its’ base are several restaurants including a Singaporean place (that holds the promise of some decent curries and noodles) and a Starbucks. The Coliseum regularly holds basketball games and cockfights and I am hoping to see a boxing match there sometime. I haven’t been able to confirm it but I think that is where Mohammad Ali had his “Thrilla In Manila” back in the seventies. They also hold pop concerts and other musical events and this December will host the Hansen Tour to the region. I will make sure I won’t miss that one! Teeny-Bop heaven! I’m joking.

In the basement of SM there is a large Ace Hardware, a larger food court and an amusement area which includes a small bumper-car track amongst other things. I must say the food court is the usual SM Basement gig, lots of places selling the same basic half dozen Filipino dishes despite what nationality they may allude to in their business name. 

I did like the public market with some of the largest tuna on sale I have seen outside the Tokyo Fish Market. Most of the stalls, although still Filipino Market style, apppeared to try and offer their wares in a hygenic manner. There were numerous uniformed inspectors wandering around looking important and making a show of enforcing the rules, at least while the Kano was watching and taking photographs!

Cubao has two National Book Stores that I could find, one of which is quite large and very comprehensive. Farmers Mall has numerous stores selling clothes, computers and so on and the full range of fast food from McDo (local name for McDonalds) to Greenwich, Jollibee and Chow King. The mall connects to the north-south MRT and is always buzzing.

The major roads, EDSA and Aurora, do seem to sever the retail areas a little, cutting the place into quarters. There are numerous other streets and places to explore, not just the main retail area around the Araneta Coliseum, but most of the shops are just selling the same things the first thousand or so offer, so why trudge the overpasses? One thing you will notice is how you are the only foreigner around for miles! I have seen only one other foreigner, an elderly woman, there in five recent visits.

What I like about Cubao is that you have all the kinds of stores you ever would want to shop at in the one area, lots of variety to choose from and yet the prices are more realistic than the flash shopping malls of Ortigas and Makati. I wouldn’t be too sure of getting cheaper prices from the small stores along the back streets, I found several of them charging a few peso’s more for everyday items like batteries and hand towels compared to what you could get them for inside the malls or the department stores. Like anything, anywhere, it pays to shop around and the great thing about Cubao is, there are plenty of opportunities to do just that.

A New Scam To Watch Out For! Part 1.

I have been coming to Manila a couple of times a year for nearly twenty years and for the last three years I have been living permanently in the Philippines, albeit in Cebu. Returning recently to Manila full time for work has brought back memories but it has also given me some new ones to file away. I thought I had seen pretty much most of the scams in regular use against foreigners, either first hand or from a safe distance. The one I will relate here was not only a new one for me, but also a new one for one or two long term expats of my acquaintance.

One Saturday I find myself at the end of a jeepney route, in this case it was Harrison Plaza, a salubrious shopping center at the end of Malate near Manila Bay. It is a major sleaze pit and pick up joint for hookers, even in the middle of the day as when I arrived. I was in search of some refreshment before I intended to walk down to Malate Park and do some research for a story on the area. (Philippine Dreams December 2004, “Manila Meanderings”)

I was approached on the mezzanine level by a scabby looking Bakla with padded bra and broken teeth, dirty hair in a pony tail and a home made tattoo on his arm. He asked if I wanted “chicks” and I declined. He ignored me and called over a young woman and said I could have her for eight hours for P1500. I repeated my refusal and started to walk away. Apart from the fact I am married, Harrison Plaza is known as a place where the girls you buy are either underage or thieves or both, with or without STD’s. The pimp followed and told me the price was now only P1000. Forget it, bugger off, go away, Hindi Aleese! Walang na pera! (go away, I have no more money)

He persisted a little longer but I kept walking and went on my merry way. I wandered around Malate, along the BayWalk and up to the Manila Yacht Club, then headed back to the Plaza for a bite and a jeepney home. As I wandered past the area he had accosted me in before, this pimp materialises at my arm and is agitated and very upset. He whines that “the one thousand peso note you paid me for the girl was fake, now I am in trouble”. 

I asked him to repeat what he just said and he did! At that point another person appeared out of thin air, this one looking quite neat in a Barong type shirt and slacks, short hair and a semi-automatic in a belt holster on his right hip, under the shirt. He also had hand cuffs under the shirt on the left hip and a cell phone around his neck. I ignored him and the pimp and turned on my heel and made a rapid bee line for the exit where the taxis wait. I walked fast and didn’t look back, just kept moving as I smelt a rat, something was going down and it had me plastered all over it!

As I was about to get into the cab the pimp and his mate arrived, said something in rapid Tagalog and the neatly dressed gun toter grabbed my arm and told me he was a cop and not to move. He flashed a wallet which I grabbed hold of and studied carefully. On one side was a PNP badge and on the other an ID card that looked pretty genuine. He had a death grip on his wallet and only later I realised his thumb was over the photo.

He mumbled the obligatory “we sort this out and then I call Immigration” as if that would scare me into complying. I told him there were a lot of fake cops around Manila and I wasn’t sure he was genuine. I had no doubts about the gun which I had felt up as he showed me the wallet and it was a large frame Colt 1911A1 .45 ACP style handgun. By now a crowd had formed and there was no way I was making it into a cab and getting away.

The pimp repeated his allegation that I had given him a fake one thousand peso bill and when he went to spend it he was arrested or stopped, depending on which version he was saying. It was all very upsetting to the poor thing and he was looking good for a Filipino Oscar. The “cop” said we had to sort this out and I would go with him. He asked for ID and I told him I didn’t have any and he accepted that. Hmmm!

He said we had to go to the security office. I didn’t want to go anywhere as I figured if we went to the police station it would get more expensive. I asked what the problem was and if the bakla got another P1000 would that be the end of it? I had no intention of paying a peso if I could help it but I wanted to feel out the situation. The “cop” muttered something vague and unheard and I got the gist there may be more to this. I figured he was going to try and pin solicitation on me and then the bakla would produce a 15 year old who would swear I did the deed and the girls’ mother would chip in that she helped clean away the soiled sheets and saw the whole thing etc.

Next thing we were walking inside and heading for the security office. I was behind the “cop” and the bakla and could have turned and ran anytime. Of course I would have been the slowest waddling foreigner Bear in Manila and it is very hard for Bears like me to blend in with the crowd here! No, I would have to brazen this out and see where it was going. I was prepared if necessary to pay the thousand peso’s if I had to, anything was better than trying to beat a trumped up sex charge. Even if you beat it you are still tainted and plenty of people would be less than convinced of your innocence. Try explaining your appearance on TV in an orange t-shirt marked “PNP DETAINEE”, as one of mistaken identity and see how many will give you the benefit of the doubt!

FUNNY MONEY!

A New Scam To Watch Out For! Part 2.

In the security office I was surrounded by uniformed and plain clothes security officers. The “cop” spoke into his cell phone a second time and I wondered how come they don’t give Manila cops two way radio’s? They do but I wasn’t 100% sure of this at the time! I pressured the “cop” and said either produce this fake note or I am going. Then I told him even if he shows me the fake note he can’t prove it belonged to me or that I gave it to the bakla. At this he said we had to go to where the money was!

OK, so now we are out on the street, heading away from the mall! I am behind the “cop” and the bakla, who is berating me and begging me to admit I paid him the funny money and lets get this over with. We get to the traffic lights at the road that runs along the mall. I ask where are we going and the “cop” says we have to go to the Barangay Captain’s office where the money is being held. Hmmm?

I repeat that it is my word against the bakla, I have denied giving him anything and there is no way he could prove anything anyway, even if I had given him funny money. I then said there is no way I was going any further with him or the bakla and I was leaving. At this I turned on my heel and strode off back towards the mall.

The “cop” stayed standing there but the bakla went off his brain, poked me in the arm and yelled at me. I warned him not to poke me again or I would defend myself. I tried to get into a cab as I figured if I hopped a jeepney he could keep up, even incite the passengers somehow against me. I had my camera and a magazine in one hand as I opened the cab door with the other. The bakla seized his chance and my glasses and stole them off my face quick as a flash.

He kept dancing just out of range as I tried to get them back. I knew from hard experience as a school boy how pointess it would be to dance along, it was either tackle and down the mongrel or say goodbye to the glasses. I said goodbye to $200 worth of prescription two tone glasses in a P400 frame. Without the camera and magazine in one hand I might have been able to grab them, but I doubt it. He would have simply thrown them under a passing jeepney or something. If I had decked the mongrel then I would have really been in trouble. Hitting a Filipino with breasts, even a thieving bakla, in daylight and full view of the public isn’t advisable for foreigners!

I jumped into the cab and told the driver to simply drive. As we stopped in traffic around the corner out the front of the Manila Zoo, another taxi passed us and stopped right in front. Next to the driver was the “cop”! I told my driver to make a quick turn once the other taxi had missed the intersection and we went off to Makati. I realised then for sure the “cop” was a fake, probably going back to his day job as a security guard at some fancy five star hotel.

This scam might have worked better for them if I had in fact paid for the services of the hooker, the guilt and doubt would have made it difficult to walk away with confidence. I was never totally convinced the “cop” wasn’t a real, albeit crooked, cop. Insulting the real deal could be self destructive if he takes it personally and continues on somehow even after the original issue is resolved. Filipino’s have thin skins to begin with where white foreigners are often concerned, no value in making it worse. The bakla was very convincing, at least to onlookers and anyone who didn’t know the truth about the fact I never paid the bakla with a fake bill for anything! I figured if I had to pay a real thousand to avoid complications, it might be worth it, but that would be a line call and the last resort. Of course you don’t want to give in too early but you also don’t want to miss the chance to get out for just a grand if you have to.

You see this is not about right or wrong or justice, it is street survival, pure and simple. Throw enough mud and some will stick and it is too easy for scammers to set a foreigner up and have him facing a capital charge of soliciting a minor and looking down the barrel of the death penalty! Yes, things can go from bad to very shitty real fast here if you are unlucky to find yourself in a situation like that. It happened to a good friend of mine, John Martin. He was setup with a bullshit drugs charge and spent six months incarcerated until he was finaly able to effect his release. It cost him just about everything he had one way or another.

The final cost of that day’s little adventure was a pair of decent glasses. Cheap when you think of how it might have ended. Did I want to deck the bakla? Damn right I did! Could I have done it? Let me see, I was an unarmed combat instructor in the Australian Army, I hold several black belts in martial arts, have boxed, worked as a bouncer and on and on so yeah, I could have cleaned the street with him and the “cop”. Then what? It doesn’t pay to get physical here unless your life is at risk. My life wasn’t in danger, just my reputation and my fortune, such as it is! I do think though that if I had continued on to the “Barangay Captains’ office” I might have ended up in a ditch with a leaky hole in the back of my head.

Do I want to go back there and find the mongrel bakla and give him a serve? Sure, but how dumb would that be? Best thing I can do is stay well away, chalk it up to experience and let others know about this scam. Besides, I had a spare pair of specs back home anyway!

Why You Take The Train When Travelling Along EDSA!

Part 1.

When I first came to Manila, nearly 20 years ago, there was no light rail alternative. PNR (Philippine National Railways) still enforced its right of way along the single track that ran north-south through the heart of the city. Today the rail line north is no longer in use, the southern line stops way before it even nears the center of Manila and all of that is a good thing for the thousands who call the strip alongside the tracks, home. Thousands of squatters have taken up residence in jury built shanties and shacks for miles along the track. There is often talk about resolving the issue, usually with ridiculous ideas like buying out the squatters (and their votes!) and giving them title to their narrow land holdings. Of course that neither properly resolves their long term housing issues or clears the way for more much needed road transport alternatives.

As an aside, just the other day the train from the south derailed and killed more than a dozen people. Seems the track had been dismantled by locals who sell off the spikes and sleepers! The train went around a curve too fast for the dilapidated condition and derailed. How sad that people can be so poor and so stupid they endanger the lives of others just to make a peso!

I remember the first light rail system, the LRT, now known as LRT1. It runs north to south from Monumento at the northern end of EDSA, to Baclaran, past the southern end. EDSA, or Epifanio Des Santos Avenue, is the major ring road type thoroughfare that runs in a rough semi circle from Manila Bay past Makati, Ortigas, Cubao and Quezon City to the Northern Expressway and Monumento. The LRT1 runs down through the older parts of Manila like Quiapo and across Luneta (Rizal Park), edging along past Ermita and Malate and into Pasay and the street markets of Baclaran.

I rode the LRT1 the other day for just two stops, from Taft to EDSA and it took nearly half an hour. For some reason the train wouldn’t leave the station without waiting ten or fifteen minutes, then we crawled to the next stop as if the track was in need of repair. A little harrowing I must say, especially as you can look out of the windows at each end of the train and see the train coming up behind you stop just a few hundred meters back.

When it runs normally, the LRT1 has a section in the front just for women. In the rear of the last carriage there is a roped off section for men, either infirm, elderly or with children and monitored by a guard so the feminist types can’t claim sexist treatment with the women’s only carriage! How this works at peak times I am yet to see as there has always been more men crowded into the rear carriage than women travellers in the front one!

I first rode the LRT1 back in 1994 when I came for the WEKAF World Full Contact StickFighting Championships, held at the Alabang Country Club in Muntinlupa. (I won the Super Heavy Weight Division however they presented me with a Silver Medal as they wanted the Filipino I slaughtered to have “won” so he could go to the USA for the next competition! Watching the officials openly change the scores so Filipino’s would win heats was my first introduction to the blatant cheating and corruption that can happen here) Before the contest I visited a friend who was staying out at Monumento and I used the LRT1 to get there and back from my hotel in Ermita. I had seen the elevated rail line the year before but I never had the chance to try it out. I must say I enjoyed the speed and ease of travel, even back then when Manila traffic hadn’t reached its gridlocked peak (I believe that came in 1997).

I do recall one trip where I looked down and saw a crooked finger trying to open my front pocket so it could get to my wallet. I grabbed the wrist and followed it along until I looked into the eyes of the thief! I yelled out “pickpocket!” but as I did so he twisted his slippery wrist (they grease them up to help escape being grabbed) and stepped back, just as an accomplice stepped in and politely told me I was mistaken! I can still visualise the hooking action of the finger at my pocket, to this day! Right at that moment we pulled into a station and the thief and his apologising accomplice backed off and quickly stepped through the open doors. I didn’t follow but instead double checked my pockets and personal effects as it would be typical for a third person to rob you while you focused on the thief you caught.

Pickpockets all over the world are very good, usually, at what they do. They rely on your carelessness and the press of the crowd to help them get whatever you have not bothered to properly secure. Yesterday on the MRT2 I watched a hand sneak through the crowd standing in front of me ( I was seated) towards this large, fashionable “purse” type wallet this young trendy kid had stuck in his designer jeans. More money than sense but I couldn’t just let him get ripped off. I looked past the hips surrounding me and caught the eye of the owner of the hand, who withdrew his arm and then himself into another part of the carriage. I warned the young lad about what had happened but he seemed more contemptuous that some fat foreigner had bothered to speak to him. Next time he can lose his cash and cards!

EDSA SATURDAY NIGHT

Why You Take The Train When Travelling Along EDSA!

Part 2.

The MRT2 runs from EDSA’s beginning at Taft Avenue with a connecting walkway through the mall to the LRT1 line. It goes all the way to North EDSA station which is right near the North EDSA SM Mall. The gap between North EDSA MRT2 and Monumento LRT1 will one day be joined, but for now you have to continue your journey by jeepney or bus.

Along the way you can alight at Ayala Station and wander into the Mall Heaven of Glorietta 1, 2,3 and 4, then across Ayala Avenue through the Landmark Department Store and on to GreenBelt Malls, 1, 2 and 3! If you get off at the next station, Buendia, it is a short jeepney ride to the nightlife of P.Burgos Street.

Further up the line you come to Shaw Station where you can alight for SM Mega Mall and Ortigas, the bustling new business center. Cubao further on has several malls and the Araneta Coliseum, then a few more stations brings you to the end of the line.

There is a new east-west line, MRT3, which runs from out in the suburbs of Marikina City to the inner city area around Quiapo and the Divisoria market area. Basically for much of its length it follows Aurora Boulevard and up until now I haven’t had a reason to take a ride.

As Manila grows and spreads out, more of these mass transit light rail systems are needed. The road system can not handle the vehicular traffic now as it is. More people, more cars only means more congestion and even longer “peak” hours.

Tonight I hopped a jeepney to Cubao, getting off a little before the end of the line and grabbing a passing bus on EDSA. It was an airconditioned bus that was showing “BlackHawk Down” on a TV at the front. I grabbed the seat behind the driver which meant I could slip my legs under his seat and stretch out, but I had to suffer his incessant sounding of the very loud air horns. He would sound the horn at the vehicle in front even if we were stopped at a red light! The man was, basically, an idiot.

The seat was a one and a half seater. Obviously they would expect two Filipinos to fit on it but even that is silly as it simply isn’t big enough. The first three rows are made up of these seats, perhaps to allow lots of room for boxes to block the aisle? Who knows? Then the two seater seats begin, all fitted with three headrests of course. This justifies the conductor squeezing three Filipino’s onto these seats. Why Filipino’s simply accept this rubbish beats me. Of course it isn’t in their culture to say this is not acceptable or to do anything about it like send in a letter of complaint. Yet none of the Filipinos I have ever canvassed have liked being squashed in like sardines.

The traffic was horrendous. I was on the bus between 7 and 8pm on a very rainy Saturday night. Traffic both ways was completely stationary in some places, mainly major intersections such as at Ortigas. With the door open the whole time, the air con around me wasn’t working as well as I would have liked and the extra humidity from the rain made it a moist trip. 

Dong the conductor had the annoying habit of fast forwarding the video regularly. He liked the bits where helicopters were flying but sped past the parts full of dialogue. I asked him why he was doing this and he said he didn’t understand the talking anyway, so why show it? I said perhaps the passengers wanted to follow the story? His reply was a shrug that suggested that it was his video and he could do what he wanted with it!

Meanwhile the mental midget we had unwittingly entrusted our lives with was back on the horn. Again for no discernable reason. I willed a cop to appear and hit him with a major fine for noise pollution and inherent stupidity, but to no avail. I received a call on my cell phone that was only half heard as he began to really wail into the horn with both hands! I tapped him on the back of the head pretty sharply and told him to lay off or I’d disconnect the thing. It seemed to work as he did ease off and only used it once or twice more before I alighted. Of course as soon as I walked away from the bus, you guessed it. He let cry! I was waiting for it so he didn’t have the satisfaction of making me jump, but it was a close run thing!

If I had taken the MRT2 it would have been merely fifteen minutes out of my life to get to Makati from Cubao. Of course the stations have vicious sets of steps to climb and the bus saved having to do that. But at a cost of P15 (compared to P13.50) and an extra forty five minutes or so. Not to mention another five percentage points of hearing loss!

Looking For An Apartment In The Big City

Although Manila does have a thriving real estate industry, many of whom advertise rentals on weekends in the Manila Bulletin, the tried and tested local method of finding a place to rent is still to wander the streets of your chosen neighbourhood and look for those small signs. Doing this ensures you don’t waste time chasing properties too far from where you work, as the traffic is truly in charge of things in Manila! Additionally, it allows you and the owner to meet and assess one another, something that is vital given the nature of the relationship of landlord/tenant in the Philippines.

The Filipino landlord will generally take things a little more personally regarding the place you rent than would a landlord back home. The tenant often views themselves as being lower on the totem pole in the relationship, rather than as a customer the landlord needs for his business. Consequently, getting anything repaired or changed if you haven’t the right relationship with the landlord can be challenging. Landlords will often cut off their nose to spite their face to show you, the lucky tenant who they have put a roof over your head, how fortunate you are they have allowed you to live there. The tenant will often accept and feed this relationship status because they feel inferior that they don’t own property. Anyone richer than them deserves their obsequiousness, as they expect it from those they see as their economic and social inferiors.

Walking the streets also gives you a good feel for the neighbourhood, although cruising along at walking pace in an air conditioned vehicle is just as telling and far less sweaty! Very often there will be a telephone number and the annoying direction to “look for” someone particular when you call. How you can look for someone over a telephone beats me, just another example of the worsening standard of English in this once literate country.

Once you find a place you may be able to inspect right away. Often the security guard or helper will show you the property. Unprofessional perhaps, but it saves the very important landlord from having to hang around waiting for someone to respond to the obscure minute sign on the gate. After all, that is what the help are there for.

If you can’t get in to view the place, it might pay to have a local call the number and chat with the owner in the first instance. Don’t expect logical questions to be asked or answered. Rather the passage of information might well be more about who you are and who you know and why you are here more than the features of the property and the monthly rental etc. Remember this is Asia and relationships are more important than details! Knowing the place has two C.R.s won’t make them three or only one or cleaner or more modern or suddenly fitted with hot water, will it? Isn’t it more important that the owner knows you know some of the same people or that your Asawa graduated from the same college as the owner’s second cousin’s daughter? 

Once the pleasantries are over with it can be down to business and expect it all to be in the favour of the owner. After all, they have the property you want to rent. Forget thinking they may want the income from the rental. Of course they do and they might very well be desperate for it but you must keep things in perspective. They own a property, you don’t, thus they are higher up the socio-economic ladder than you and if you don’t like it then too bad! Owners of rental properties can’t be changing their policies or improving their properties because a potential tenant wants them to! Where would it end? Probably with the tenant thinking they are at least as good as the owner!

I’m not over dramatising this, the attitude is very real and very much a part of the rental scene here. You won’t change it so rail against it in private, then accept it and then turn it to your advantage whenever you can because that is how an Asian would handle the situation. Don’t forget, if you play the game by their rules then they have to do a few things for you, too. Once the right relationship is formed, the owner has a certain obligation towards your welfare, like a “patron” or fatherly (or motherly) figure. You are now one of the family so to speak and like a small child must be looked after and taken care of. Not because you are paying rent which may form a major part of their income. No, it is because a relationship has been formed, there is “utang an loob” involved. (literally “a debt of honour”)

This is why you can hear of people being months and in a few cases I know of personally, even years behind in the rent! Once the relationship is formed then usually you are guaranteed to be well looked after, although don’t expect things to happen with any speed and be careful how you ask for repairs and improvements. Always ask for things by being humble and not wanting to bother them with the trivial details, especially as you are really there to hand over the rent, which of course is more important than any dripping tap or unhinged door. If there is something embarrassing like a bad smell from an overflowing septic tank, invite the owner around for a coffee and let them notice it themselves. Make sure you apologise for the smell as if it is your fault their house is so poorly maintained!

Be aware of the practise of PDC, or Post Dated Check. Most owners will want these for the term of the (usually 12 months) contract. Some ask for a months rent in advance and two months rent as security deposit, others one month each and some demand as much as three months rent as security plus a month or two up front plus PDC for the rest! Like anything and everything in Asia this is negotiable, so negotiate!

Don’t be afraid to negotiate hard! Be polite and even fawning but stick to your guns! That’s how they do it to us, with that “inscrutable oriental” approach that never stops them smiling but they won’t budge an inch. Well Dorothy you ain’t in Kansas now, you are in Asia so work the angles the Asian way! Smile all the time, keep your voice down and never lose your temper and simply never give an inch. Don’t ever feel sorry for them, they are after all, your socio-economic superiors. You are the poor relation without any property and since they are the rich relation with so much more than you have, they can give you more of it than they may be offering. Hey! We always whine about how we are taken for walking ATM machines, the rich, fat Kano etc! Now turn about is fair play so when in Rome, or Manila…….

If you think you are going to miss out on this one of a kind property that is just so perfect, think of this. In Makati alone there are, at most recent count, over 9,000 vacant residential units. Over 9,000 in Makati alone. The report in the newspaper did say property values, rents and so on would increase as vacancies dropped but it will take a long time to fill 9,000 units! And that is just in Makati! When you include the other nine cities and municipalities that make up Metro Manila, there is always going to be at least one other property that is just perfect!

Are There Business Opportunities To Be Had In The Philippines? We Take A Look Each Month.

So far I know of people who are getting involved in bat guano, tempura cart sales, sari sari wholesale supply and a few other interesting ventures, including real estate development, sea shells, prescription eyewear and more! The common denominator seems to be the desire to get involved in something. However, a word of warning.

A business in the Philippines can indeed be started on a frayed shoestring, unlike something you might try back home. But be aware that the less you invest the less it will produce. This has nothing to do with any law of diminishing returns, it is simply that the successful businesses here are successful for the same reasons a business is successful back in the UK or America.

If you have insufficient capital, or a poor location or no real business plan then just because it is only a few dollars to get Dong going doesn’t mean it has any special chance of success or even survival just because it is started in the Philippines. I was in a Chilli’s franchise tonight. Cost of the meals are over P200 and well into P400 with some even more. Drinks were fairly pricey too, but you can have the buy one take one beer deal for P65 that works out pretty good value. Anyway, the points I am making are twofold. Firstly it took a fair chunk of change to put up a decent business like Chilli’s in the first place and secondly, there is money in this country!

There may not be much to spread around in the province where the asawa comes from but in Quezon City there is a lot of it! I was speaking to a car dealer who brings in “gray imports”. On his lot he had a VW Tuareg, a Dodge Ram, a Mercedes, three Honda’s and so on. Plus a 2004 Range Rover HSE going for P6 million! Given the fact Land Rover pulled out of the country due to the gray import market back dooring them for billions, I wonder where the eventual buyer will get it serviced? Woe betide him if it breaks down or the computer chip needs a zap, nobody has the diagnostic gear to fix it!

So between the gray imports and the authorised importers, there has never been more new car metal on the roads in Manila. And it all costs money because financing here is a joke. I left Chilli’s and walked down T.Morato Avenue and turned into Timog Avenue, part of the South Triangle area of Quezon City. The place is wall to wall restaurants, coffee shops, liquor stores, aerobics gyms and anything else you want. By the time you sweat your way onto Quezon Avenue the giant KTV lounges and nite clubs fill your horizon with their ridiculous prices and lurid neon lies of love and popularity. No money here? Rubbish!

So if you don’t have real chunks of cash, then you are in the realm of the SME or small to medium enterprise, which officially lists a micro business as being worth up to P3 million, not including buildings etc!!!! Small businesses are P3-P15 million and medium sized P15-P100 million. Anything with more investment than that gets to call itself a large, or big business. If you don’t believe me, check the official DOLE figures! So unless you have US$60,000 or more in the venture, it isn’t even a “small” business! 

Getting back into Manila, my old stomping grounds, after a two year hiatus in Cebu has proven more than merely interesting. I have really gone out of my way to get back into the street vibe that oozes from this city’s pores. Everywhere you turn in Manila somebody is trying to turn a peso. Across the street from me every morning at 5.30am a young woman sets up a simple stall selling corn, sits there all day and by nightfall it still looks like she hasn’t sold a single cob.

Every second house has its obligatory sari sari store attached, the barred serving hatch the sign of a micro enterprise in the making. On the street corners, food vendors offer BBQ meat, BBQ bananas, squid balls, taho and anything else you can think of. There are ten million people in this city and it seems that at any one time five million of them are trying to sell the other five million something. Like I said, there is money in this country, it’s just a question of who has it and how much at any one time.

This Month We Meander Around Malate.

The first time I came to Manila nearly twenty years ago I ended up in Malate on my second night in Town. The first night I had rolled out of the plane into the APP Shuttle Bus, been handed my cold San Miguel Pilsen and watched as Roxas Boulevard rolled by on my way to the hotel in Ermita. I think I was in my first bar (The New Bangkok Bar for the record) within an hour of exiting Customs! The second night I had wandered down M.H. del Pilar Street all the way to Malate Park, where the Church and The Aristocrat Restaurant were located. I dined in Shakey’s Pizza with a great cover band hammering out some fabulous rock and roll tunes and the beer was cold, the pizza was cheezy and the atmosphere simply fantastic.

In those days and until a year or two ago, Malate Park was a pick up place for prostitutes, usually managed by fat women or sad transgender types. It had little to offer during the day and less at night unless you wanted to risk a confrontation or set up and there was no need with Ermita’s night life so close and so vibrant. Nearby the restaurants around Remedios did a decent trade along with several pension houses and the casual attitude to “Bakla’s” there gave it a thumb’s up from The Lonely Planet, yet they would cast scorn upon the seedy sex tourist ridden Ermita nearby. If only they knew that Malate has always been the home of numerous “love motels” where the Filipino clientele take their casual affairs and hookers in numbers no wave of foreign tourists could ever match.

When Mayor Lim closed down the Ermita bars in 1993-94, (mainly I feel as they were an easy target and besides, the rumours were he had his girlie bars safely tucked away in a different jurisdiction!) Ermita pretty much died out and only today, ten years on is it showing signs of recovery. It will never jump like it used to but it may attract some more much needed investment. A side effect of Ermita closing was that Malate suffered too. There was no longer any spill over of tourists and tourist dollars. The trendy restaurants around Remedios felt the pinch and took it hard, although lately they have recovered well and now thrive.

The face of Malate has changed a little, more Korean and less European influence. Once upon a time all the restaurants were owned by expat Germans, Spaniards and Swiss. Now they are Korean, Japanese and even Chinese and Middle Eastern. At the Remedios end of Mabini Street and Adriatico there are numerous coffee shops, nite clubs, restaurants and bars offering regular entertainment. The love motels are still around like Anito’s and Sogo, but they have all pretty much moved upmarket in décor and style.

Malate Park has been remodelled and two new statues and a large fountain fill the plaza. The church, once a gutted, shell torn wreck at the end of WW2, now stands proudly overlooking a plaza where once again families feel safe enough to wander. The plaza leads out onto Roxas Boulevard and looks out across Manila Bay. Along the Bay the new Bay Walk offers several places to sit and enjoy a snack, a meal or just a cold beer or three.

The skyline along the Bay towards Ermita has changed too, now looking very clean and modern. In the other direction towards Pasay and the airport lies the snooty Manila Yacht Club, the Headquarters of the Philippine Navy and beyond that the Philippine Cultural Center. Back across Roxas lies the Central Bank of the Philippines and behind that Harrison Plaza Mall. Harrison Plaza is still a dark, dingy and seedy mall that is frequented by prostitutes and their pimps. A known hangout for gangs who often pose as Police and terrify tourists into handing over large sums of cash to get off trumped up charges. Not a place to treat lightly.

Heading back towards the park you come across the Manila Zoo. This zoo has been progressively improved over the years but it is still what zoo’s used to be like back when most of us were kids. Lots of bars and cages and not a great deal of interaction. I have always found the animals and their cages to be clean and well cared for, but very sad when I compare the facilities with the world class Taronga Park Zoo of my home town, Sydney. Things are improving though as there are fewer instances of visitors killing the animals by feeding them with rubbish such as plastic bags! (this is how the giraffe died!) Asians do have a more callous, casual attitude towards animals than westerners, so don’t be surprised if the place strikes you as sad. I know both times I have been I have had to leave before I made it to the Kangaroo enclosure. I just shudder to think how I would feel seeing my Nation’s Emblem kept, Filipino style.

Overall I must say Malate comes alive at night and that is the best time to visit. Stay away from Harrison Plaza and stick to Adriatico and Remedios and the Malate Park area and you will enjoy a very cosmopolitan evening indeed.

The Biggest Growing Segment Of The Franchise Market Here Today!

I have been watching the steady growth in coffee shops in this country over the past few years with some interest. I do like a good cup of Java and when I first came to these shores 20 years ago it was a hard thing to find. Even today you will be lucky to do better than a sachet of Nescafe Instant, a sachet of creamer and a small cup of tepid water. Why the dumb mongrels don’t put the coffee in to the cup before filling it with water beats me! At least then it would have a chance to blend properly but why am I expecting western standards of civilised behaviour from someone who has never been exposed to such?

The reality is that Filipino’s enjoy a decent cup of coffee too, although maybe more for the fact it sends a message of affluence to others rather than the taste of the brew. At P50-60 and up (my café latte grande is a P100 cup of coffee) not every Dong and Dai out there is rushing to Starbucks, although more than enough are and new stores open all the time.

As well as Starbucks, there are Bo’s Coffee Clubs, Figaro, Seattle’s Best, Moccha Blend, Gloria Jean’s, Coffee Beanery and maybe four or five other franchises to choose from if you want to go into the coffee shop business. They all follow a similar theme, started by Starbucks back in the early eighties and itself modelled on the espresso bars of Italy, relaxed, casual and expensive! I wonder if the first recorded coffee shop, “Kiva Han” in Turkey in 1421 offered a mocchalatte or a frappucino?

In upscale areas they are everywhere and growing. It really is a market niche oriented business, you need lots of A, B and C class Filipino’s willing to spend relatively big money on a drink they really don’t need to get through their day with. At least not the fancy version on offer. Of course most places actually sell more iced drinks than hot versions, although this it is so cute to see Filipino’s wearing coats and jackets and sitting in the (still steamy for me) evening sipping hot coffee and pretending it is cold this time of year.

A decent coffee shop franchise will set you back around P2 million and up. You could get away with less but more will usually be needed. The way things are going though, it looks like a way to print money only a McDonalds franchise could beat. Or a Jollibee!