Philippines Books

Surviving Her Moods, One Kano’s Way To Deal With Tampo.

Anyone who has spent any time at all with  Filipinas will know about Tampo. Sulking.  The silent treatment.  Filipina’s have it down to an art form that their western sisters may have once boasted, but have since lost the skill as their masculine side came more to the fore! Tampo is so terminally female, so illogical in its logic, yet so cruelly effective most of the time.  There are ways to defend against it, even fight back but none are as powerful as Tampo itself! Read on.

Tampo is an accepted mode of behaviour within the Filipino culture.  It allows for the offended party to display their hurt and offense without offending anyone else, including whoever offended them in the first place.  Clever, don’t you think?  Coming from a society where it is quite acceptable for someone to run “Amok” and kill as many as they can before being brought down themselves, Tampo is a far less lethal, yet just as effective way of getting your message across.  And nobody dies.
Yes, women do the tampo, men run amok, you didn’t think it would be the other way around did you?

So the gentler sex has this weapon at her disposal that can cut a man dead as quickly as a strike from a Bolo.  Not literally, but figuratively.  When you are on the receiving end of tampo, you know it!
She will not talk to you, harsh punishment from a woman of any nationality as women place more store in communication and conversation than men do.  For a Filipina, a person brought up in a culture that places the group above the individual and getting along with everyone in that group more important than personal advancement, not speaking to you is really playing hard ball.

For us foreigner men we might actually enjoy the silence, the hours or days free from nagging or shrew like remarks but this will be short lived.  She will tune in and realise that we are actually enjoying the peace and quiet and so she will up the intensity a little.  Some physical contact and cold shouldering will come into play.  Doors will be subtley slammed, plates crashed down on the table in front of us and other signals will be sent to show that we are being punished and that we should not enjoy the process!

Repeated attempts to get her to explain why she isn’t talking to you will be met with silence.  After all, she isn’t talking to you, remember?  If she did give you an answer it wouldn’t make sense to  your
logic restricted male brain. Nor would it necessarily be anything more than a representation of her emotional state, devoid of any tangible connection to anything you have ever said or done, but perhaps things you may have intended, thought or could one day perhaps, maybe, might, possibly do.  Like I said, forget logic, reason and trying to make any sense of the situation.  Simply accept you did worng, you are being punished and you have a duty to make ammends.

This will entail paying lots of attention to her over considerable periods of time.  No matter how much she ignores you, keep at it. It may take days or it may be only hours but slowly she will allow you to
do little things for her and she may even speak directly, albeit abruptly, to you.  Gradually she will soften further and tehn before you know it she will be the warm, loving asawa of old and you had
better warm up and forget the cold time and be ready to go on as if nothing happened!  If, like me, you find it difficult to be sexually aroused after a few hours of tampo, then don’t be surprised if she
goes right back into full blown tampo because you don’t love her anymore! You should be girding your loins as the ice melts and be ready to perform, studlike, as a show, proof shall we say of your love, devotion, fidelity, etc etc.

Remember, to a Filipina there is no shame in showing tampo, or being in tampo.  In fact the others in the family or barkada will have respect for her because she has a problem and she is dealing with it the right way and without embarrassing herself or anyone else by yelling and screaming. Like what us foreigners usually do!

Does it work the other way?  Can a foreinger husband tampo the wife? I guess you can but I realy can’t see it having the desired effect.  It really is a female thing but I really don’t agree with the men’s
way of showing their displeasure, beating up the wife.  The alternative is to grab the Bolo and “run amok!”.  I’ll try hiding in my den for an hour or two!

We Live In Nature, It’s Not A Theme Park.

If we were truthful with ourselves then I am sure we would acknowledge that we live a pretty safe life compared to many others in the world and even more so when compared to our forefathers and ancestors.  Thereisn’t a war raging at the moment that really threatens our lives, despite what some vested interests may try and convince us of to the contrary.  Unless you are living in Iraq or on Basilan Island, the odds of you falling afoul of a war on terrorism related atrocity are pretty low.

However, we do live in a world where nature still rules supreme. Especially here in the Philippines.  In Cebu we are pretty lucky to be sheltered by the surrounding Visayan islands of Leyte, Samar, Negros
and Bohol.  Their protection means the typhoons that do strike this far south usually just produce a lot of rain and some wind and nothing like the maelstrom those up in Luzon often face.

The Philippines is a collection of islands, volcanic islands and we lie on the Pacific Rim Ring of Fire, according to the National Geograp documentary I saw last year.  Very dramatic but also very apt as anyone who witnessed Mt Pinatubo erupt can attest.  There are several active and numerous dormant (or allegedly dormant) volcanoes making up the very land upon which we stand.  The perfect cone of the Mayon Volcano in Bicol has been making noises for some time or late, and Mt Pinatubo is also giving hints she is restless.

On top of all that, there are earthquakes to consider and their oceanographic cousins, Tsunamis, or tidal waves.  Most of us live fairly close to the sea and so this is something to consider.  Can you
imagine a major earthquake hitting your barangay? The mind boggles how our local, antiquated and amateur fire department would cope.

Besides nature and her extremes, there are also the results of average weather events to think about.  Storms can lead to losing your roof, or land slides or flooding, even on a relatively minor scale.  Nothing lethal or life threatening most of the time, but at the very least disconcerting and annoying.  If you had to evacuate your home due to a flood, would you expect your possessions to be there when you return, albeit a little soggy?  I wouldn’t.

I will look at events involving human antagonists another time, like riots and so on.  This time, lets just focus on natural catastrophes and what we can do to prepare for them and live through them.  First of all, don’t get paranoid but don’t ignore the fact that nature does bite some times.  A simple storm could leave you without power for several hours or even several days, how will you cope?

Firstly there will be no light, no internet and no refrigeration. There may be no water if the local supply relies on being pumped andthe pump is on the same grid that is affected by the storm. Two years ago in Bogo we had a “brownout” that lasted for nearly three days. The local water supply was reliant on the electricity grid to power the pump to get it to our taps.  No power meant no water.  Nothing to drink, wash, launder or cook with.  After the first day in the heat and humidity the novelty wore off and bottled water supplies were already stretched as people bought up “gallons” wherever they could for drinking water.

The power and water came back on at one stage and I rushed around filling every container I could with water.  Others thought I was being silly, the power was back on, the water was flowing again, why fill all those containers? Well the power went out again after just forty minutes and didn’t come back for another two days.  Two more days of no fans, no aircon, no television, no karaoke (always a silver lining in any dark cloud) no cold drinks, no fresh food, no ice etc.

Most brownouts last only a few hours, often less.  This one was a three day mongrel.  I was fortunate in that I could afford to put my family in the Red Terror and drive them to Cebu, where we stayed at the Kiwi Lodge for a couple of days until friends rang to say the power was back on.  We could have survived the two more days with no power or water because we were prepared but with the Asawa pregnant there really was no reason not to find a solution such as staying at an hotel.  Of course, that solution may not always be available.

We keep at least three days water supply on hand at all times and regularly cycle through it. Our bottled water supplier brings three “gallons” every week but we use only two, so there is always one
there in case of an emergency.  I just line them up and go through them so the water is never more than a week “old” when drank. I also have another “gallon” kept in a cupboard out of direct sunlight which I swap with a fresh bottle every month or so as I remember to do so.

We have a battery back up and surge protector for the computer, it will give you about 15-20 minutes once the power goes out to save your work and switch off.  Then if it is dark a standing lamp also plugged in will carry on for about the same amount of time giving us light to see by as we get the candles and torches (flashlights) out.

My wife now realizes why I insist on keeping the torches in the same places around the house, along with spare batteries and strict instructions the kids are not allowed to play with any torch except the
one specifically designated as the “one the kids will play with and use up the batteries so it won’t work when you need it” torch.  Keeping them in the same places means they are easy to find in the sudden darkness of a brownout.  Keeping the spare batteries with them and insisting on a little discipline regarding their use pays off when the torch is needed in an emergency and is worth the extra effort required to instil on the average Fil-Am family. (Or Fil-Aus in our case).

We don’t store a lot of food for emergencies, although we do have a cupboard with tinned goods that I make an effort to rotate through every couple of months.  Since we live in the city now we don’t worry
quite as much as what was prudent when we were way up in the province.

My first aid kit, or kits as I have one in the car, one with my dive gear and two around the house, are checked every year or so specifically and given a cursory going over whenever they are used.  I always check these things just around my birthday.  It is an annual event I never forget and reminds me to check the things that may have lain dormant for most of the year and can do with a little attention.

The secret is to get into a routine and stick to it, take a few precautions and not get too carried away.  If I was in the province or felt the threat justified the action I would look at safe rooms in the house, firearms and communications with the outside world etc.  Living in Talisay we have a fire evacuation plan (this is important as many houses here have bars on the windows and doors) and two cell phones to supplement the landline.  Emergency phone numbers are stored in the phone memories and also handy to the landline on a card.

As far as firearms are concerned, my proactive approach to getting on with my neighbours should erase any need to keep a gun around for protection.  Besides which, enough of my friendly neighbours have their own guns so there’ll always be someone around to make noise if needed!

Don’t get paranoid, but don’t get lethargic.  I took the same precautions when I lived in metropolitan Sydney as I take here in Cebu, nature can come calling with an attitude anywhere, anytime.  Keep that
in mind and then get on with living the dream!

With over 20 years hands-on experience in the Philippines, Perry Gamsby is considered an authority on the facts of expatriate life in this fascinating archipelago.  As well as having a Filipina wife, four children and the requisite extended Filipino family, Perry is a teacher of Filipino Martial Arts and a former travel editor of the country’s leading map and travel atlas publisher. Five years ago he created Streetwise Philippines Inc. publishing eBook guides to the Philippines for expat readers.

His first book and to date, still the best seller, is “Philippine Dreams” (also sold in some markets as “StreetWise Philippines”). This comprehensive examination of the phenomenon of Filipinas, the Philippines and his own decision to move to the Philippines and pursue his dream of living in a tropical paradise strikes a chord with all who read it.  Written in an entertaining yet informative style, the eBook explores life and living in the Philippines in a special way: “This is what happens, this is why it happens, this is what you as an expat can do to understand what happens.” You can read more about Philippines Dreams at http://www.philippine-dreams.com/ 

“Philippine Dreams” created a demand for more information, especially about the four most important topics of the matrix:  meeting a Filipina, marrying and migrating a Filipina, putting a roof over your head if you decided to live in the Philippines and finding ways to pay for all of this!  The results were “Filipina 101-How To Meet The Filipina of Your Dreams” (co-written with his Filipina wife, Amelita) and “Filipina 202 – How To Marry And Migrate Your Dream Filipina”. These valuable guides dismiss the misinformation and stereotyping of the Filipina on the many online dating/matchmaking sites and provide a balanced and informative guide to men looking for Filipina wives.   You can read more about these guides at  http://www.filipina101.com and http://www.filipina202.com  

Perry then released “The Philippines Property Primer – The StreetWise Guide to Buying, Renting or Leasing Property”.  This is a ‘first read’ real estate guide for anyone contemplating buying, renting or leasing property in the Philippines.  Over the years, as well as buying, leasing and renting several properties himself in the Philippines, Perry has observed many people lose large amounts of money in property here; most of the time because they are not dealing with legitimate sellers or they have not protected their investment by taking the simple precautions listed in the eBook.  The Philippines Property Primer has all of the basic information you need to assist you in making a more informed decision.  You can read more about The Philippines Property Primer at http://www.philippinespropertyprimer.com/   

THE LATEST RELEASE FROM STREETWISE PHILIPPINES

Although the topic of how to make a living in the Philippines was covered in brief in “Philippine Dreams”, the response from readers was so insistent that a new, updated and more in depth guide on how to support yourself and your family in the Philippines has been released.  “MAKING A LIVING IN THE PHILIPPINES – The StreetWise Guide To Business, Employment and Investing”, will tell you what you need to know to operate a small business, get a job or invest in a tightly regulated, highly competitive and immensely volatile marketplace.  It has been written with the average guy in mind; the everyday guy without the big retirement income set-up or pre-arranged ‘fatcat’ expat job contract who wants to escape to the Philippines and live every day with the Filipina of his dreams but still needs to make a living! 

You can read more about “Making A Living In The Philippines” at http://www.makingalivinginthephilippines.com/  or check out all the Streetwise Philippines publications at http://www.streetwisephilippines.com/  The eBook, contains a wealth of information otherwise impossible to glean without having been there, done that.  In the safety of your own home you can learn first hand what is required to survive in a third world economy and be better equipped to decide if you should risk selling up and making that life changing move!

This E-Book will explain to you everything you need to know to start up a small business, get a job or invest in the Philippines!